"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client. "First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene."

"Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is down to 140."


And


The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The patient said, "Give me the good news."

"They're going to name a disease after you."